Life and Death

Title: Life And Death

Author: Nautika (

Series: TOS

Pairing: Spock/McCoy


Rating: PG

Parts: 1/1

Date: June 2003

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Disclaimer: The usual. Paramount/Viacom own STAR TREK. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is made from this.

Notes: Part of the Spock McCoy Haven Fifth Wave. Not beta'd. Two drabbles, one of McCoy's thoughts on finding out out Spock loves him, the other McCoy's thoughts on Spock's death in ST:II.

Summary: Challenge drawn: Write an S/Mc that begins with the line "I didn't think it would feel like this."


Life And Death
~ By Nautika


I didn't think it would feel like this.

I didn't think it *could* feel like this.

Love. Life. I have *never* felt so alive...I feel as if I could walk
down the corridor, hands in my pockets, whistling a silly tune, with a big, goofy grin on my face and ignore all the stares; all the whispers. He loves me. That's all I need to know. That's all I need to live. His love.

Who'd have thought it could be this good? Not this cranky old doc, that's for damn sure. I didn't believe...but he loves me.

It's that simple.


I didn't think it would feel like this.

At first, I seethed with rage at the universe for this turn of events. I burned with I know not what. He was gone. That's all I knew. But now I feel nothing. I feel empty.

Awake or asleep I cannot escape his final minutes. Standing
up...straightening his jacket...damn Vulcan...always proper. Facing his commanding officer, his friend, for the last time.

Always with it I hear Scotty's "Amazing Grace" and the lyrics twist in my mind. I once was lost. Then I was found. Now...I'm lost.

Spock is dead.

It's that simple.

The End