Little Trip to Heaven

Title: Little Trip To Heaven (On The Wings Of Your Love)
Author: Jazz Man
Rating: PG
Codes: S/Mc now there's a surprise
Summary: Final part of the 'fate' challenge. Title from Tom Waits (again)

Little Trip To Heaven (On the Wings of Your Love)
Jazz Man

Several months after my aborted leave with Spock I found myself at Starfleet
in San Francisco waiting for my next assignment. In an unusual moment of
I had turned up half an hour before my appointment with the brass and was
myself by reading the latest copy of 'Fleet News'. I noted with interest that
Enterprise was docked at McKinley station, but wondered why Spock hadn't
mentioned it
when we last spoke. It occurred to me that if the Enterprise was in for
Spock might not have any free time. Either that or he wanted to surprise me.

I put the matter aside and continued reading. Before long someone entered the
waiting room. I looked up expecting to find an aide, but found instead another
member of the disaster squad. It didn't look like he'd gotten the assignment he

wanted, and I couldn't help but be a little pleased. The man thought he was a
If he hadn't been such a damn good surgeon, he would've been kicked of the team
before now.

"Where you going?" I asked sweetly.

"Some rock in the middle of nowhere," he said tersely.

"They need doctors in the middle of nowhere, too, you know."

"And you, McCoy, CMO on a ship of the line. How did you manage that one?"

I didn't know where I'd been posted, but I wasn't going to let him know that.
"I slept with the first officer."

He scowled. "Even you couldn't have done that - he's a Vulcan."

A Vulcan? That meant the Intrepid or the Enterprise. They'd never assign
someone like me to the Intrepid, so it had to be the Enterprise. The smile that
had been lurking erupted into a full scale grin. I had slept with the first

When I looked up, the man was gone and in his place stood the expected aide.
"They're ready to see you now, sir."


The meeting was short and to the point. I had been transferred to the
Enterprise, effective immediately. I had a day to get my affairs in order and
pack. Given that I knew my posting was likely to be off Earth, I had been
prepared to
leave before the meeting. I decided I'd head back home and sort out the last
things and then I'd make my way to the Enterprise.

To my surprise it had been Kirk who had requested me as CMO acting on the
advice of his now former CMO, Mark Piper. As far as I knew, I'd never met Piper
and I
wanted to know why he had recommended me. It didn't really matter, Kirk had
requested me and the request had been approved, but I still wanted to know. As
much as I was looking forward to working with Spock, I didn't want to be riding
his coat tails.

It wasn't long before I was ready to go. After working in the disaster squad, I
was used to travelling light. If I found that I needed anything else, I could
get it shipped out to me. I checked the Enterprise regs and found that Kirk
allowed animals on his ship, so, after a brief struggle, I got Hippocrates ready
to go.

We travelled back to San Francisco and then on to McKinley. Once we got there I
signalled our arrival and we transported over to the Enterprise. When we
materialised, Spock was waiting for us.

"Lt. Leonard McCoy, M.D., requesting permission to come aboard."

"Permission granted, Lieutenant. Welcome to the Enterprise."

Our eyes met and I was more than a little annoyed that we weren't alone.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"Let me show you to your quarters, Doctor, and, after you are rested, I will
show you around the ship." He reached down to take one of my bags and looked
than a little surprised when it meowed at him. "Doctor?"


The faintest hint of a smile touched his lips. "If you'll follow me."

The walk to my new quarters was short. Once we were safely inside Spock
turned to me. "Len."

"Spock." We stood watching each other, not entirely sure what we were going
to do next.

It was of course then that Hippocrates reminded us he was there by meowing
very loudly.

"Okay, okay, furball, I'll let you out." I did exactly that and the cat went
straight to Spock. "Traitor."

"It is clear that Hippocrates is an excellent judge of character."

"Oh, really?" I asked, sidling up to Spock. "What does that make you?"

"An excellent character," he said, one eyebrow raised.

"We'll see about that, my friend."


Spock, true to his word as always, gave me a tour of the ship. We started
with his quarters which were right next to mine, we shared a bathroom. It was
first time I had been anywhere that was really his and I was more than a little

curious. The quarters were what you would expect the quarters of a Vulcan
officer to look like, but with a few exceptions. There were several leather
poetry books, which he explained had been a gift from his mother, exquisite
which had been handed down through his father's family for generations and an
statue that he insisted was just art. I certainly found the two intertwined,
men aesthetical pleasing.

After the tour he took me to see Kirk, who waited until Spock was gone before
offering me a seat.

"Welcome to the Enterprise, Doctor, how do you like her?"

"Very well, sir, she's a fine ship, with a fine crew."

He smiled, his pride obvious. "They are indeed a fine crew, and you are now
responsible for their physical and mental wellbeing."

"I'm looking forward to starting work, but I have one question: why me? I'm
confrontational, stubborn, have little respect for the chain of command if it
gets in
the way of my work. I'm not exactly Fleet."

"And that's why Mark Piper recommended you. Youre exactly what we need here,
someone who's bull headed and won't take no for an answer when it comes this
crew and
its medical needs."

"I'm not sure if I should be offended or not."

He laughed, "I think I like you McCoy, you really are an old fashioned

"Now that I will take as a compliment."

"And so you should. I expect you to start on the crew physicals tomorrow, so
if you could draw up a tentative schedule today, I'll see to it that the crew
on time."

"Does that include you, Captain?" I asked.

"It most certainly does," he said, though I wasn't convinced he would hold
true to his word. It there's one thing I know about starship captains it's
this: they
never follow doctor's orders.


It took me what seemed like forever to draw up a schedule. At the beginning
it had seemed an easy enough job, but then factor in that the physicals could
take place during the crew's off hours, but not when they were meant to be
As I rule I don't like machines, but sometimes even I have to admit that they
their uses.

I posted the schedule and went off to look for Spock. He, of course, was
still on duty. Being CMO meant being on 24 hour call, but if business was slow
could always go home early.

I didn't feel like calling it an early night, so I went back to the rec room
Spock had shown me earlier. As I entered I was only slightly surprised to see
familiar faces, or rather one familiar face and the back of someone's head.

I put a finger to my lips to shush Christine and then put my hands over Ny's
eyes. "Guess who?"

"Leonard H McCoy."

I pulled away and slid into a chair. "You could've at least played along," I

"I could have," she said, smiling. "Welcome to the Enterprise, Lenny."

"It's good to finally be here," I said. "How the hell did you two get here

"We slept with the brass," said Christine.

"Together or separately?"

They both laughed.

"You really are incorrigible, Lenny," said Nyota.

I smiled. "But that's why you love me, right?"

She pointed an accusing finger at me. "You've got me down for a physical
tomorrow. I don't love you anymore."

"How'd you get to read that so quick?"

"I'm a comm officer, Len, work it out."

"I see you've got Spock down for tomorrow, too. He doesn't like physicals."

"He does when I give them."

Nyota shook her head. "Incorrigible."


A couple of hours and more than a few drinks later, I stumled back to my
quarters. I checked the time and found that Spock's shift was over. I grinned
at the thought of Spock and what was almost certainly going to happen. Like I
said, I
hadn't seen him for months.

I finally found my quarters and as I entered I heard the unmistakable sound of
water running. The grin spread from ear to ear.

I stripped in record time, amazing what a little incentive can do, and went
into the bathroom.

Spock had his back to me and didn't appear to have heard. With his Vulcan
ears, did I mention how much I love Spock's ears? Anyway, he had to have heard,
so I
guess he was just playing along.

I stepped into the stall and wrapped my arms around him.

I whispered in his ear, "Miss me?"

He turned to face me and I found myself with an armful of aroused Vulcan. Not
that I minded. Not in the least.

He bent his head and kissed me.

As he pulled back I smiled at him, "My place or yours?"


I woke to find myself in a rather uncomfortable position. I'd forgotten how
small standard bunks were. Spock was lying on my arm and showed no signs of
up. His shift started later than mine, so I tried to wriggle out from under him

without waking him.

Just as I was almost free he rolled over and trapped my hand. His eyes opened

I leant down and kissed him. "Gotta go."

He didn't speak, but I felt an indolent wave of pleasure rush over me and knew
it was the mind link.

"Spock," I said warningly.

He allowed me to reclaim my hand. "I will see you later."

I kissed him again before walking through to my quarters. I showered and
dressed before feeding Hippocrates. I'd have to speak to Spock about adjusting
doors so that they let the cat through as well as me. After all, we came as a

I left my quarters and headed to sickbay. I'd chosen to start with the senior
medical staff and was only vaguely surprised to find my first appointment
waiting for
me. Dr M'Benga was the only other fully qualified doctor on board and, from his
record, a good one at that.

I smiled at the man and got to work. It was going to be a long day.


I was impressed. I had one more physical to go for the day, and so far every
single one of them had turned up. Nyota had come down complaining all the way,
and a
little Russian had explained to me how 'Mother Russia' had invented everything
including the medical tricorder, which I happen to know was invented by an
Indian, but
other than that it had been quiet. And they'd all turned up, not a one had been
late. Which was more than could be said for my last appointment.

Spock was late.

Rather than call him down, I decided to go and get him. I asked the computer
where he was and it told me he was on the bridge. Unless I'd made a mistake,
was a distinct possibility, Spock was off duty. What was he doing on the

I made my way to the bridge. When I got there, I stood for a moment just
watching. Someone once told me that the best way to tell how good a captain is,
is to
watch him on the bridge. Kirk's bridge was calm and ordered, but with the
impression of good humour. No one would get thrown into the brig for cracking a

Spock stood at the science station. He hadn't turned when I came onto the
bridge, so, in revenge for that morning, I tried to get his attention with some
erotic thoughts. I wasn't sure how I'd done until he stiffened. He still
didn't turn

Kirk did. "Dr McCoy. What can I do for you?"

"Spock's late for his appointment. I thought I'd come and get him."

Kirk frowned. "Spock?"

Finally, Spock turned to face us. "I am in the middle of an important
experiment," he said. "I'm sure the doctor can wait a little longer."

"I could have waited, Spock, if you had told me you were going to be late."

He looked at me. "I had assumed that you would be running late."

It was a fair assumption, but I didn't like it. "Well, I'm not. Every one
else managed to turn up on time."

"Commander Spock, will your experiment keep?"

Spock looked at his station and then back at Kirk. "It will."

"Then you are to accompany Dr McCoy to sickbay and do exactly as he instructs

"Aye, Captain."

We walked to sickbay in silence. As soon as we entered I turned to Spock.
"Up on the biobed, Spock."

He hoped up without complaint and removed his uniform overshirt.

I grabbed a tricorder and turned back to him. "So, you thought I'd be running

He almost frowned. "That is what I said. I had presumed that someone would
have turned up late, or that an appointment would have overrun."

"Well, you were wrong."

"Yes," said Spock. "I was." He was silent as I took readings. "Len?"


"I must ask you to refrain from using the link when we are in public. It is
too intimate for such occasions."

I looked at him. "Okay. If it's important to you."

He looked inordinately relived.

I filed the incident away and carried on with the physical.


I still don't know what I was thinking. I was drunk, but that doesn't excuse
it. I had gone out drinking with Scotty. Spock was working late and I was
bored when
Scotty invited me out. I been on the Enterprise for just over a week, but with
the physicals I hadn't had much time to see anyone, well, I'd seen plenty of
but I hadn't seen much of the others.

Scotty and I had a good night, a very good night, if you catch my drift. I'd
come home drunk. I'm not an aggressive drunk, in fact quite the opposite. I,
ah, get
very amorous. It wouldn't surprise me if there were rumours about Scotty and me
the way we'd been behaving, though all I'd done was hug the man.

Anyway, I decided I'd go and visit Spock. I don't know what I was thinking.

He was meditating. I came up behind him and put my arms around him. He could
smell the alcohol on me. I planted a very wet, very sloppy kiss on his cheek.
He stood up and I fell away from him.

"You are drunk."

If I'd been more aware, I would have realised that it was getting dangerous.
"And ready for love," I said. I've no idea what it sounded like. I tried to
and ended up leaning against the bulkhead. Spock didn't come to help.

"You should return to your quarters."

"But you're in here." I stepped towards him and fell into his arms. I'm
surprised he didn't let me fall to the ground. I kissed him and he pulled away.

He manhandled me through the bathroom and into my quarters.

I managed to pull him down onto the bed, but after a brief struggle he got

He stood looking down at me for a long moment before turning to go.

I don't know what I was thinking.


I tried to apologise to Spock the next morning, but he brushed me off saying
that he had work to do. Unfortunately for me, I had nothing to do. I'd
finished the
crew physicals. I'd read all the recent medical journals. There was nothing I
do. I went to sickbay anyway, hoping that someone had cut themselves shaving or
sprained their toe or some other similar injury. Nothing.

Sickbay was empty except for Christine. Just my luck. Anyone else and I
could have gotten away with sitting in my office in a snit. She wouldn't have

She walked into the office and sat in one of the visitor chairs. "So, Len,
out with it."

"I don't know what you mean." The words were barely out of my mouth before I
regretted them.

"Come on, Len, how long have I known you?"

"Too long," I muttered.

"Have a fight with Spock?" she asked sweetly.

I glared at her, but my heart wasn't in it.

"Does that mean I can have a go at him?"


She smiled. "I was just asking."

"Besides, you're not his type. He prefers brunettes."

"And hairy ones at that."

I was forced to laugh. Once someone's seen you naked, you have no secrets
from them. "I came back drunk."

"And tried it on." She looked at me. "Why don't men realise that drunkenness
is not an attractive trait?"

"He's never seen me drunk before."

"You know, he may never have seen anyone drunk before. Could be he doesn't
know how to deal with it."

"Could be I disgusted him." Leonard McCoy has never been known to look on the
bright side.

"What're you going to do?"


"You have two options: let him go or get him back."

I stared at her. "It's as simple as that?"

"You've got to fight for him, Len, or I'll die my hair brown and start the

I had a feeling she meant it.


I managed to sit with Spock at lunch, but before I could speak to him Kirk had
joined us. The same thing happened at dinner. Spock didn't appear for
breakfast the
next morning. He wasn't there at lunch either, or dinner. I was beginning to
really worried, but then someone said that Spock had been cooped up in the
science lab
all day.

I tried to go and talk to him. He wouldn't let me in the door, saying that
his experiment was at a 'critical stage' and that any interruption would mean he
have to repeat the whole experiment. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth,
but I
wasn't going to push it.

In the end, I'd gone to the rec room in search of some much needed distraction.
I found Nyota hanging up some notices.

"Still not made it up?" she asked as I approached her.

"What do you think?"

She patted me on the shoulder. "There, there."

"This is serious," I said.

"You've got to fight for him."

I scowled. "That's what Christine said."

Ny nodded. "We compared notes."

I ignored her and looked at the notice she'd just put up. "What's this?"

"Can't you read?" she asked with a laugh. "It's a talent show," she said

I grinned, an idea forming. "What say we show them how it's done?"


"You and me and Christine. We'd have to find a drummer somewhere."

She smiled. "There's a drummer down in engineering. Sue Taylor. I hear
she's pretty good. Maybe I can persuade Scotty to let us have her."

"You do that," I said. "You do that."


Nyota wasn't kidding when she said the drummer was good; the girl was amazing.
What's more, she fit right in. It didn't take us long to get a rhythm going.
talent show wasn't for another week and a half so we had plenty of time to
decide what
we were going to do. I had an idea of what my choice would be, but we would
have to
wait and see.

I had continued to try and apologise to Spock, but he had buried himself in
his work and I had barely seen him. He certainly knew how to make life

It was then that I got my first taste of an Enterprise away mission. It was
meant to be a standard survey mission, but as I soon found out, there's no such
as a standard survey mission when the Enterprise is involved.

We had taken a shuttle down to the surface. Something was blocking the ship's
scans, so they decided to play it safe. There were six of us: Kirk, Spock and
me, two
security redshirts and the botanist Sulu. I don't really know why I was there.

I was hoping it might give me a chance to speak to Spock. I know we were on
duty, but the work wasn't exactly hard. He'd gone of to check the mineral
of some caves so I decided to follow him.

I wasn't far behind him when the first earthquake struck.

I felt a sharp stab of pain. It took a while before I realised that I wasn't
injured. It had to be Spock. We might not be talking, but I had felt his pain

through the mind link.

I had to get to him. The ground had given way ahead of me. Spock was on the
other side. I knew I couldn't reach him without help.

"Spock!" I called.

He looked across at me.

I could see the pain in his eyes and then everything went dark.


I woke with a splitting headache. I opened my eyes then blinked them shut
against the light.

"Computer, reduce lights 30%"

I opened my eyes again and saw Christine leaning over the bed.

"Hey, Len. How're you feeling?"

I put my hand to my head and groaned.

"That good?" Christine smiled. "I'll go and get Dr M'Benga."

I lay there taking stock of my condition. My head hurt, my arm and both legs
were sore and breathing was painful. Fractured skull, broken limbs and probably
broken ribs. It sounded like a shopping list.

M'Benga came in with a cheerful smile. "Good to see you awake, Doctor."

"How long was I out?"

"Only a few days," he said, checking the biobed readings.


Christine answered. "He's fine, Len. He was discharged yesterday."

"You, however, will have to stay here for a few more days."

A few more days? "Hippocrates?"

M'Benga looked confused, but Christine smiled. "He's in Nyota's quarters."
She put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Len, everything's taken care of.
you have to do is get better.


I was bored out of my skull. I'd spent the last few days doing absolutely
nothing. I was almost tempted to start on my paperwork. Almost. Nyota and
had visited me as well as Sue Taylor. Even Kirk had been down to see me. Once,
just as I was on the verge of sleep, I had the distinct impression Spock was
there, but I must have been mistaken.

I'd badgered M'Benga so much that he had decided to let me go back to my
quarters. Christine was chosen to take me there, manly because I was less
likely to
snap at her.

Nyota was waiting for us with Hippocrates in her arms.

"Thanks for looking after him," I said as I opened the door.

"No problem," she said, putting him down.

I sat down in the most comfortable chair. "So, we ready for tonight?"

They exchanged glances.

"We pulled out," said Christine. "We didn't think you'd be up to it."

"Didn't think I'd be up to it?"

"I'm sure they'd let us back in," said Nyota hastily.

"They'd better."


This was it. We were next. The four of us were waiting in the wings. The
announcer started up.

"We thought our final act wouldn't be able to make it tonight, but it seems
there not above going against doctor's orders." Someone in the crowd laughed.
group have an advantage over the rest. Three of them used to play together on
one of
the Federations most boring planets and the fourth is wizard on the skins." He
slightly and motion for us to come on stage. "Let me introduce you to the
Ensign Taylor, the lovely Lt Uhura, the charming Nurse Chapel and the dashing Dr
McCoy." The man walked off and we were given a round of applause. I was going
kill whoever wrote that script. 'Dashing' Dr McCoy?

Nyota took the mic. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you're all
enjoying yourselves. We're going to do three different numbers for you tonight.
They're all from old Earth, but don't worry if you've not familiar with that
kind of
music. The first song is a duet from a man named Elton John. The song's called
'Written in the Stars'. Sit back, relax and enjoy."

I flexed my fingers and began to play. I'd always loved duets and this was no

It was over pretty quick and we got a respectable round of applause.

I was to introduce the next song. "This is one from Joan Baez, so you get to
listen to Nyota on her own. Believe me, you going to enjoy it. Here is it:
Twist of Fate'"

Nyota really is wonderful and the applause was notably louder. I even heard a
few whistles, which I was willing to bet came from Scotty.

"Our final song is from Tom Waits, a firm favourite of our dashing doctor.
The songs called 'Little Trip to Heaven (On The Wings of Your Love)'"

"This song is for a special someone who I hope is in the audience. He really
ought to know by now, but I guess some people are just too dense."

I sincerely hoped that not only was Spock there, but that he understood.

The crowd seemed to like the song. The line 'I don't have to take no trip to
outer space' got a laugh. By the second verse I was pouring heart and soul into
Later, Christine and Ny said that they'd never heard my so good.

"Youre my North Star when I'm lost and feeling blue.
Sun is breaking through the clouds, don't you, don't you know it's true.
Honey, all the other stars seem dim around you.
I'm thanking my lucky stars that I found you.
When I see your smiling face,
Honey, I know nothing ever gonna take your place."

As the last notes faded the applause began. I found myself standing with the
others and taking a bow.

The lights went down and I searched the faces. Finally, I found the one I was
looking for. I smiled. He had understood.


I managed to shake off the others with a plea of tiredness. It wasn't a lie,
but I think they all knew what was going on. When I got to my quarters, Spock
waiting for me.

"I'm sorry," we both said at once.

I laughed before sinking down into a chair. He handed me a glass of water and
our fingers touched. I felt a flash of remorse coupled with desire and a
impression that he was hiding something. He sat down on the couch opposite me.

"I should have known not to turn up on your doorstep drunk, Spock."

"And I should have let you apologise."

"My being drunk, it reminded you of something, didn't it?" I tried to keep my
tone light.

He looked up sharply. "How did you know?" he asked.

I tried to smile. "What I did was bad, but it didn't warrant you never
talking to me again."

"The first person I ever saw drunk was my uncle."

"What happened?" I asked gently.

His eyes were fixed on the floor and I could feel his pain. "We were at my
grandparents' house on Earth. It was late at night. My uncle came into my
room. He
wanted to see what kind of child 'that heartless bastard' had sired." He paused
for a
moment and seemed to be steeling himself. "He beat me to see if he could make

"Oh, Spock. I'm sorry."

Briefly, oh so briefly, he met my gaze, then his eyes went back to the floor.
"To begin with, I didn't cry out. I wanted to prove that I was a Vulcan. Then

finally I did cry. My father came running; the rest of the household were close
behind." He took a deep breath. "That was the only time I ever saw my father
really angry. He pulled my uncle off me and slammed him against the wall. I
can still remember what he said, 'If you ever touch my son again, I will kill
you.' It's strange, that's when I realised just how much he loved me. He could
never say it, but from then on I knew."

I moved to sit next to him and took his hand in mine. "And after?"

"You would never have been in the caves if it weren't for me. I felt guilty."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Logically I knew that. Emotionally? I felt guilty and I did not know how to

"You came to see me one night."

"I did. I thought you were asleep. I did not wish to disturb you."

I kissed him on the cheek. "If you'll accept my apology, I'll accept yours. Do
we have a deal?"

He turned to me and almost smiled. "We have a deal." He touched his hand to
my face and I felt him in my mind. <<I love you.>>

<<I know.>>


A week ago, I requisitioned a larger bed. I guess there are some perks to being
CMO. The bed arrived this morning. The timing couldn't have been better.
Tonight was the first night I felt up to doing anything in bed other than
sleeping. We made love and I felt Spock in my mind.

He's sleeping now, but I can't sleep. I've been thinking about Spock and how we
met. It's been a long road, and I know the road ahead is even longer, but for
moment there's a lull. We're at the beginning of a journey. I don't know what
will happen next, but I'm willing to trust to fate.

For the moment all I want to do is enjoy being where I am. I am here with
Spock. I am in his bed, I am in his mind and I am in his heart. What better
could there be?

He stirs at my side and I kiss him. He smiles in the darkness. I can feel
him raising himself up on one arm. "Len," he says. He stares at me as though
he were
trying to see into my soul. I would let him. I almost imagine I can see into
his and I know what he is going to say.

I put a finger to his lips. "Shh, Spock, you don't have to say it. I know."

He pulls my hand away and kisses the palm. "I have to say it." His voice is

I can feel it in every bone in my body and somehow I am afraid. Afraid for him,
afraid for me. "Spock." The voice hardly sounds like my own.

He leans forward to kiss me. "I love you," he says and I am no longer afraid.