Title: I'd Love Making Love To You
Author: Jazz Man
Disclaimer: Startrek belongs to someone else, more's the pity.
Summary: Sequal to 'I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You'.
Response to challenge: Write a Spock/McCoy about fate. This is now
almost certainly two of four. Set in 2265, two years after 'I
Hope ...' I think I have everyone where they should be. The title is
from the song of the same name. Unfortunatly I don't who wrote the
original. I have a version sung by Leonard Nimoy.
I'd Love Making Love To You
After Spock left things were never really the same. Ny got a
promotion and was assigned to the Enterprise. I wished her well, but
I couldn't help but be jealous. Christine left too, going somewhere
more interesting. I was next to go, leaving Jisak on his own. I
moved to what's known as the 'disaster squad'. We get sent in when
things go wrong. It was tough, but I always felt we were doing
Here we were on Arkana V, a planet suffering the after effects of
civil war. The figures didn't do it justice, for every one of the 10
million dead there was a face, a person. Things got pretty nasty
towards the end of the war. Both sides started to use chemical
weapons. The rebels started bombing some of the major cities with a
man made virus. The problem now was that the scientist who had
developed the virus had been killed in a government raid. He took
the cure with him and we were left with just over a million people
dying in cities all over the planet's three main continents. That
was one of the reasons we were here. Mind you if it weren't for the
dilithium buried beneath the surface of this rock, Starfleet would
have never got involved.
That wasn't my concern right now. As the leading xenobiologist on
our team, it had been decided that I would take charge of finding a
cure, my colleagues taking care of the more straightforward
problems. I was sent to the largest of the infected cities, so I
could better observe the disease in all its stages. We were losing
people every day and I knew that the other cities were just as bad.
Luckily, everyone who was infected had been kept in the cities, this
wasn't planetwide. Even so, if I didn't get access to better
resources sometime soon there wouldn't be anyone left. That's what
this was about.
"If I don't get access to better lab facilities and some qualified
help down here, these people are going to die. And then where will
your mining rights be, Admiral?"
"Doctor McCoy," said Admiral Jefferson, sitting up straighter, "We
are doing all we can to give you the support you need, but ultimately
our resources are limited."
"I don't care, sir. My duty is to these people. If I have to fight
you every step of the way, I will."
"I don't doubt it," he said, softening. "I might be able to get you
a starship in a day or so, but for now you'll have to make do with
what you have on the ground and on the Prometheus. That's the best I
"Thank you, Admiral." It paid to know when to quit.
He nodded, "Jefferson out."
The image on the viewscreen faded out, leaving the Medical Corp
insignia. I slumped back in my seat. The Prometheus was mainly a
transport ship; she wasn't designed with extensive lab facilities.
Now there was a stupid idea if ever I saw one, a transport for
medical personnel going to disaster areas and she didn't have good
labs. A starship with good science and medical departments certainly
would help, but in Starfleet talk 'a day or so' could mean as long as
a week and Jefferson only said he might be able to get one.
I stood reluctantly and headed for the transporter room. There was
no point in putting this off.
"What do you mean 'we might get help'? It might be too late by then."
I held out my hands in surrender. "I know, Oli, but there's nothing
I can do to get help any sooner."
Lin Oli was my head nurse, for want of a better term. He was one of
the few Arkanian medics left. He had been one of the rebels during
the war, and was still bitter about it. But he was a medical man, if
he could help, he would. Needless to say, the others didn't like him
"I know you can't do anything, Len, but if Starfleet can get a mining
team out here, why can't they get a medical team?"
"We're here already, it's just that it was decided they could do
better helping out elsewhere. It's to do with saving as many lives
as possible. It could take years to find a cure, Starfleet can't
spare the man power."
"So my people die, whilst yours get dilithium."
"I never said it was fair, Oli," I said with a sigh. "It's just the
way things are."
He looked down at his feat, then picked up a data padd from the desk
I was leaning against. "I got the test results you wanted."
"Help symptomatic only. Most patients vitals improved and things got
a little more comfortable, but it didn't stop progression. We have
three thousand in the final stages of the disease here, I don't know
how bad things are in El-Benai and Ser."
"About the same, far as I can gather. Still no sign of it outside of
the three cities though, which is the best news I've had since I got
"You'll come up with something, Len. After all, isn't that what you
"Yeah," I said, "That's what we're supposed to do."
A few days later, we still hadn't got any help. I hadn't even been
able to get another doctor assigned. Turns out the humanitarian
crisis was worse than we had thought, or rather worse than we had
been told. I don't know if it was Starfleet Intelligence or the
Arkanian government who had got it wrong, but someone had.
I was slumped over a scanner, trying to see if our latest attempt was
anything close to a cure, when the door behind me opened. Thinking
it was Oli, I didn't look round. "You get me any lunch?"
"I did not know food was required, Doctor."
I whirled round in my seat, not believing my ears. There he was,
here. "Spock!" I stood up and went towards him, but stop short when
I realised he wasn't alone.
"Doctor McCoy," he said, "I would like to introduce you to Captain
James T Kirk, commanding officer of the USS Enterprise."
"Nice to meet you, sir," I said, shaking his hand.
"Likewise," he said. Damn, but he was young for a captain.
Spock stepped further into the room to reveal a remarkably attractive
dark skinned woman. "I believe you already know Lt Uhura."
"Ny!" I said, hugging her. No captain was going to stop me doing
"Hello, Lenny," she said, looking a little embarrassed.
"Sorry," I said, moving away from her. "But what other reaction do
you expect? I'm a man and you're a beautiful woman."
She laughed, knowing full well where my preferences lay.
"Well, Doctor, now that you know who's here, shall we get down to
"Uh, yes, sir." I took them over to the desk had been working at,
motioning everyone to sit. "Did I holler loud enough to get a
Kirk looked uncomfortable. "Not exactly. There was a problem with
the mining operation. The information the team were given was
inaccurate, so we brought them our engineer. Mr Scott is to assist
with the mining, and once he has finished we are to leave the
"So why are you here, talking to me?" I asked, trying not to get
"We are to assist you in any way we can. Our labs are at your
"But only until the mining's done?"
He nodded, "Affirmative."
I leant back in my chair. "So the dilithium comes first, does it?
What about the people here?"
"Easy, Len," said Ny, touching my arm.
"I have my orders, Doctor. I suggest you use the time available
wisely." He stood up. "Mr Spock, Lieutenant, I'll see you back at
the ship." He turned and left.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly then sat up straighter. "Well, how are you
"You're not going to rant about not getting the ship for as long as
"Ny, if I did that, both of you would leave, and besides, there's
nothing you can do."
"I'm fine," she said, standing. "But I think I'll leave you boys to
it. I have to go help Scotty."
"The area he's working in, it causes problems with the communications
systems. He might be a wonderful engineer, but he's no good with
comm systems." I smiled at that and she went to the door. "I'll see
you both later. Wouldn't want to miss out on the chance for a
I glared at her. She stuck her tongue out at me and left. I looked
at Spock and found him looking at me. "How are you?" I asked
"I believe I am functioning within acceptable parameters," he said,
the barest hint of a smile in his eyes.
"It's good to see you too, Spock."
I don't think either of us knew what to do. We hadn't seen each
other in two years, hadn't had any kind of communication in almost a
"I did not wish to lose contact with you, Len."
I smiled at him. "I didn't want to lose contact with you either, but
these things happen. We just have to make up for lost time, that's
"I think I would enjoy that."
"Enjoy? Isn't that an emotion, Spock?" I moved round the table to
stand next to him.
"Perhaps, but I have never said that Vulcans have no emotions."
"Hey, Len, I brought you lunch -" Oli stopped in his tracks and
stood staring at Spock. "We get a ship?" he asked finally.
I stepped away from Spock, Oli didn't need to get any ideas. "Yes
and no. We have access for a limited time."
"Right," he said, putting lunch down on the desk. "Who's he?"
I looked at Spock, noticing for the first time that his uniform was
that of a Lieutenant Commander. He'd been promoted. "Lt Commander
Spock of the USS Enterprise. Spock, this is Lin Oli, my assistant."
Oli offered his hand and, after a moment's hesitation, Spock took
it. "You here to help?"
"If I can be of assistance, yes."
"Oh, you can be of assistance, Spock. We need all the help we can
Even with Spock's help and the Enterprise's labs, we were getting
nowhere. Man made viruses are a whole lot more difficult to find a
cure for than natural ones. We knew almost everything there was to
know about the virus, but we were no closer to finding a cure.
Spock and I seemed to have agreed that whatever was going to happen
between us would have to wait. Camping out together at the hospital
wasn't helping. We were both feeling pretty low, well I was, he'd
tell it differently. We'd spent all day running tests on various new
treatments and had finally returned to our temporary home.
I practically fell onto the couch and shut my eyes. "It's your turn
to forage for food, Spock."
"I am sure you are aware that all we have are combat rations."
I opened one eye and looked up at him. "Can't you work some Vulcan
magic and turn them into something that resembles food?"
"There is no such thing as magic, Len," he said, handing me a ration
"Spoilsport." I sat up to give him space on the couch. We were in
what used to be a common room for the doctors, it wasn't perfect, but
there was nowhere else for us to stay. The city had been bombed
pretty badly by the rebels. There was a humanitarian team working
here as well, but they weren't to come anywhere near the hospital for
fear of infection.
We ate in silence, munching determinedly through the rations. "You'd
think that if we can send men into space, we could make combat
rations that don't taste of cardboard."
He turned to me with one eyebrow raised. "Have you ever eaten
"No, but that's not the point," I said, throwing the empty pack on
"Then what is the point?"
"The point? The point is . . . I don't know, Spock, what is the
He seemed to realise I wasn't talking about the rations anymore. He
finished his own meal and turned to face me. "If there is a solution
to be found, have no doubt that we will find it."
"What if we don't? How many people will die because we weren't good
"How many people would die if we were not here?" he countered. He
had a point, but it was cold comfort.
"I just wish there was more we could do. We must be missing
something; we should be able to find a cure."
Knowing there was nothing he could say, he was silent. He put an
awkward arm around me and I moved slightly so we were both more
comfortable. I don't know if it was some kind of telepathic thing,
but I felt calmer in the embrace. I knew we would do the best we
could and we would have to hope it was good enough.
"Doctor! We need a doctor here."
I moved instinctively to the door, responding more to the tone than
the words. "I'm a Doctor. What's wrong?"
A Starfleet lieutenant moved into the ward. Two ensigns were
carrying a stretcher behind him. "We're from the aid team. This
man," he gestured back to the stretcher, "He's very ill. We think it
might be the disease you're working on here."
I started shouting out orders, working on autopilot. "Someone get me
a bed clear. Oli, I want you to start screening the other aid teams
for symptoms." He nodded and rushed off.
"There's a bed here, Doctor."
"Good girl," I said, clapping the nurse on the shoulder. I turned to
the ensigns, "Get him up here. Easy now." They put the man down and
backed away nervously. That was when I got my first look at
him. "Jisak?" I stared down at him transfixed. "What the hell was
he doing here? He's not a medic, he'd a red shirt for God's sake."
The lieutenant looked a little startled. I don't blame him. "We
needed more people to cope. They shipped in a security detail about
a week ago."
"A week? Dammit. Nurse," I said, looking around, "I need to you to
take a blood sample for me. And someone get Spock."
"Len?" Jisak's voice was weak. I hadn't realised he'd even been
I grabbed hold of his hand. "It's me, Jisak. You're going to be
okay, you hear?"
"Did you bring your Vulcan too? You know I don't like Vulcans."
I shifted slightly to let the nurse in. "You should have told me you
were coming, I would have gotten rid of him."
He smiled then his face relaxed and he closed his eyes. I checked
for a pulse. It wasn't great, but it was there. He was only
I let out a short breath of air. "All right, everyone, shows over.
Back to work."
The small crowd that had formed dispersed. I caught sight of Spock
at the other end of the room. He met my gaze across the distance.
He didn't look away until he got to me.
"The Andorian," he said, looking at Jisak. "Is he . . ."
"Is he dead? No." I ran a hand through my hair. "He's got it.
This man made evil that was unleashed here."
Spock put a hand on my shoulder. "What can I do?"
I smiled at him. "See if you can get hold of Nyota. I'm going to
talk to Admiral Jefferson."
Jefferson still couldn't get me any help, but he did give the order
for the aid teams in El-Benai and Ser to be checked out. There were
two other Andorians on the team. They were to be isolated and
quarantined. We didn't know if Jisak had caught this because he was
Andorian, but we didn't want to take any risks. The main problem was
that the initial symptoms were difficult to identify. Loss of
appetite and something that looked like heat exhaustion were problems
common to missions like this. Arkana was a dessert world, and no one
wants to eat ration packs.
Jisak had been moved into a side ward. He was deteriorating
rapidly. The progression of the disease was accelerated. We were
doing all we could, but it was my medical opinion that he wouldn't
last the night. He probably wouldn't have been on Arkana if the
information about the scale of the disaster had been accurate.
Spock was busy in the lab and I was administering the latest drugs to
Jisak. Nothing seemed to be working for him. I don't suppose that
was altogether surprising. These drugs weren't designed for
Andorians. Pity the disease was.
I turned at the sound of my name. Nyota stood in the doorway. "Ny.
She came in and looked at the bed. "Jisak?" She turned to
me. "What's wrong? Is he all right?"
"He's been infected with the disease we're working on."
"Oh, God." She touched his hand lightly, almost as though she was
afraid he would break. "What happened? How did he get it? How did
he get here?"
I pushed her down onto a chair. "He was shipped in a week ago, to
help with the aid work. We still don't know how he contracted it.
This is the first case of a non-Arkanian being infected."
"Will he be all right?"
I knew her too well to think that she would believe a lie, even so
the thought did cross my mind. "No," I said, shaking my head. "Not
unless we can pull a rabbit out of the hat. Nothing we try has any
effect. I'd say he has less than a day." I rubbed my eyes. "I'm
"I'm sorry too," she said, drawing me into an embrace.
Jisak didn't make it to dawn. Nyota and I sat up with him. Spock
joined us towards the end. He never regained consciousness. This
wasn't meant to happen. We were trying to help these people. We
weren't supposed to be in danger.
Nyota had gone back to Scotty; she didn't want to spend another night
in the city. Spock and I had retreated to our quarters. I'd just
finished with Jefferson and was more than ready to call it a night,
even if it was four in the morning. I was crashed out on the couch
and Spock was meditating, or so he said. I slowly became aware of
another person in the room. "Who's there?" I asked, sitting up.
"It's me. I need to talk to you." Oli sounded tired, but more than
"Come on in. Make yourself at home," I said, gesturing expansively.
Oli shot a glance at Spock. "Alone."
"If you insist." I hauled myself up from the couch. "Let's take a
We went out to the front of the hospital. It was on top of a hill,
looking down into the city. From up here the destruction was plain
"So, what do you want to talk about?" He hesitated. Something was
obviously wrong. If hadn't been so tired I might have had the
patience for it. "Spit it out, man. We don't have forever."
"I have some information that might help you."
He leaned forward against the guard-rail. "You know I was with the
rebels." I nodded even though he couldn't see me. "I didn't work on
the disease, but I knew what it was. Project Bloodfire, they called
it. I don't suppose it matters now. We didn't win." He paused,
reluctant to voice whatever he was thinking. "The bombs weren't just
dropped here and at El-Benai and Ser. There was a fourth target."
He turned to face me. "Bombs were dropped on the city of Iliath, in
the South Islands."
I dredged up all the information I could remember for the initial
briefing on Arkana. Iliath. It wasn't a name I remembered, but I
knew there were no cases of the disease there. "They weren't
"No. The South Islanders are different from the rest of us, Len.
Their genetic makeup isn't the same. The man who created this
disease, he was a South Islander."
"You mean he created a disease he was immune to?" If these people
had a natural immunity, we might be able to find out why and
synthesise a cure.
Oli nodded. "I think so."
"Why the hell didn't you tell us this before? Why did you have to
wait 'til now?"
He backed away from me. I think he was afraid I might hit him. At
the time it was a serious possibility. "All the people who are ill
deserve it, Len. I know you don't believe that, but it's true. Your
friend hadn't done anything."
I didn't believe what I was hearing. "No one deserves to die this
way. You've seen what this Bloodfire does - it's sickening. The
people in the city were innocent. How can you say a three-year-old
boy deserves to die? Or are they just collateral damage?" I closed
the distance between us. I don't know what I was intending to do,
but it wouldn't have ended well.
"Leonard." It was Spock. He must have followed us out. "It would
not be wise to use force."
"Really? Tell that to him." I didn't look away from Oli, but I
could feel Spock coming closer.
"We must take advantage of this new information. Are there any of
these South Islanders in the city?"
"How the hell am I suppose to know?"
"I was not asking you," he said quietly.
Oli swallowed hard. "I think so."
"Then you will help us find them and we will discover why they are
We found several South Islanders living in the city. Thankfully they
were all willing to help. I think they were so relieved to find out
they were in no danger that they would have done anything for us.
All the aid teams had been screened and, so far, there were no signs
of infection. The two Andorians were still being watched, but
everyone else was back at work.
I'd had Oli placed under house arrest until it was decided what to do
with him. The problem was, other that his actions during the war, he
hadn't committed a crime. All the same, I think he was safer where
Spock and I worked through the night. We'd run some tests up on the
Enterprise and had come back down to the planet to analyse the
results. We were taking a break when Kirk came in.
Spock straightened up. "Sir?"
"Mr Scott has finished his work. We are under orders to leave Arkana
For once Spock was speechless. I stepped in. "Sir, am I to
understand that I no longer have access to laboratory facilities?"
"That's right, Doctor."
I came out from behind the table to stand in front of him. "Are you
aware, sir, that we have reached a turning point in our research?
Taking away the Enterprise and Spock will seriously hamper the
He stood up straighter. "I have my orders, Lieutenant."
"And I have mine. If the Enterprise leaves, unnecessary numbers will
die. Do you want that on your conscience?"
"That's enough, Doctor. You expect me to disobey orders from
"Right now, I don't care if they came from on high, and you're the
Son of God himself."
Kirk turned to Spock, "Your opinion, Mr Spock?"
He looked at me and then back to Kirk. "I agree with Dr McCoy."
"You do? Wonderful." He took a seat. "What would you have me do,
I grinned at Spock then sat opposite Kirk. "Explain the situation to
Command, tell them you think your presence here is necessary to the
success of this mission. They don't listen to me, but you're a
captain, they have to listen to you."
"How long do you need?" I think we had his uncondition surrender.
"A few days," said Spock.
"You can't be more accurate than that, Spock?" asked Kirk with a
"I am unable to accurately predict how long it will take Dr McCoy to
do anything, Captain."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Spock."
We worked long and hard, but it finally began to pay off. We had
formulated what we hoped was a cure and had begun administering the
drug to the worst cases. These people were the ones who wouldn't
last much longer, so there families were willing to let us try. So
far it was looking good. We wouldn't know for sure until later in
Kirk stayed out of my way. He went straight back to the Enterprise,
not that I blame him. Ny came to visit though, but we still didn't
get our 'gossip'. The Arkanian authorities released Oli. They
maintained that he hadn't done anything criminal even if it had been
morally wrong. I hoped, for his own sake, that he had gotten out of
here as fast as he could. By now everyone knew what had happened,
and they weren't going to be nice to him.
I had just finished writing up my reports on the new drug and was
walking back to my quarters when I tripped over something. I
scrambled to my feet, hoping that no one had seen me.
"Sorry, Len, I thought you'd noticed me."
"Oli?" He leaned forward out of the shadows. "What are you doing
"Tripping up doctors, Len. What do you think I'm doing here?"
"I don't know, and right now I don't really care." I started to walk
"Have you made any progress?"
He sounded so pathetic that I turned round. "We have. If you'd told
us what you knew earlier I wouldn't still be here, my friend, and
hundreds of others, would still be alive. Do you realise what it is
you have caused?"
"I'm sorry, Len."
I laughed. It wasn't a pleasant sound. "You're sorry? You think
that makes it all better? You can't bring them back, Oli."
"You want my forgiveness, is that it? You don't need for me to
forgive you. You need your people to forgive you, you need Jisak's
family to forgive you, not me."
He looked up at me, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. If I were you, Oli, I'd get the hell out here and
fast." I walked away from him, my shoes clicking harshly on the
floor. I didn't look back.
When I got to my quarters, Spock was already there.
"Len? What has happened?"
"I just met Oli, that's what's happened."
Spock put down what he was doing and stood up. "Where is he?"
"Gone, I hope. He wanted to say he was sorry. I trusted him, Spock,
and all the time he was lying to me. I should have known, and then
Jisak wouldn't be dead."
"It was not your fault," he said, moving closer to me.
"Of course it was. I'm a doctor, I'm meant to know things. I should
have found out some other way that Iliath had been bombed."
"How could you have known this?"
"I just should have," I said, turning away from him. I felt strong
hands on my shoulders turning me to face him.
"Do not take this on your shoulders, Len. There is enough there
He was right, of course, there was nothing I could have done to alter
the situation. That wasn't going to stop me wishing, though. But
the main thing now was to finish the job.
I turned sharply. "Captain. What can I do you for?"
"I'd like a progress report."
I motioned him to sit. "Well, we formulated what we hope will prove
to be a cure. So far we've been successful. The first patients we
treated have recovered. There may be complications to deal with, but
we're hopeful that this is it." I struggled to keep the stupid grin
off my face.
Kirk was smiling too. "Well done, Doctor."
"Thank you, sir, but Spock deserves a lot of the credit. Without his
help, well, we would still be in the dark."
"I'll make sure that it gets mentioned in my report," he said. "Now,
will you let me have my ship back?"
"Uh, yes, sir."
"Good. Mr Scott wants to supervise the opening of a new mine, but
we'll leave in the morning." He rose. "What happens to you now?"
"Once we finish here I'll join the other aid teams across the
planet. After that? Who knows."
"And to you," I said, watching him go. Maybe he wasn't so bad after
all. As he went out the door, I saw Spock hovering in the entrance
way. "Come to say goodbye, Spock?"
He came in, but didn't answer the question. "When did you last have
time off, Doctor?"
"About twenty years ago, Commander. Why?"
"I believe it is time for you to take some time off."
"Yes." He took my hand and pulled me up. "I have been given
permission to spend one more night planetside."
I frowned. "Do you mean what I think you mean?"
There it was, that almost smile I'd seen before. "Almost certainly."
"Nothing more accurate than that?" I asked with a smile.
"I cannot compute with accuracy what you are thinking."
"Not even if I whisper softly in your ear?" I leaned forward and
whispered: "Let's go."
He seemed more than happy to comply and, after letting go of my hand,
led me back to our quarters. I reasoned that I deserved a break.
There was nothing more to be done unless complications arose, and if
anything did happen, I wasn't going to be difficult to find.
The walk seemed to take forever, though it didn't really take long.
When we finally got there, I took a moment to take it all in. The
lights were low, Spock had set the table, he'd even gone so far as to
light a few candles, God knows where he got them from. But the best
was yet to come.
He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down. Then he lifted up the
cover from the plate in front of me.
"Is that real?" I asked.
He took his own seat. "Almost. I brought it down from the
Enterprise. I do not know if it will be to your liking, but it is
"Spock, I haven't eaten anything green in weeks, I'll like it."
"Perhaps there will be more green things to eat later."
I almost choked when I realised just what he'd said. Of course, he
might not have meant it. "Why don't we enjoy this course first."
"As you wish," he said, tucking in to his own meal.
We ate in comfortable silence. I was torn between wolfing it down
and taking my time to fully enjoy the moment. From the looks of
things, Spock was facing a similar dilemma.
Finally we finished and Spock cleared away. I was obviously getting
the full treatment, not that I was complaining. He came back to the
table and took my hand. To my surprise he kissed it, first on the
back then on the palm. He led me towards the other room, never
breaking eye contact.
"Are you sure, Spock?" I asked. He looked pretty sure, but I knew
how much this was to him. If he wanted an out he was going to get it.
"Oh, yes," he said, leaning forward to kiss me.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened next, but a
gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. He didn't wake me until it was time
for him to leave. We parted with a kiss and a promise. Spock didn't
want to lose me and I didn't want to lose him. We arranged to meet
the next time we had leave. Hopefully that wouldn't be too far away.
I stayed on Arkana for another week. After that the team disbanded
and headed back to Earth to wait for the next disaster. It wouldn't
take long, it never did. None of the other team members caught the
disease and we managed to stop it before everyone died. Jisak was
the only Starfleet casualty. The total Arkanian casualty figures ran
pretty high, but the world was on the way to recovery. I never did
find out what happened to Lin Oli. Maybe he paid the price for his
actions, maybe not. After I left Arkana it stopped being my business.
We'd done our job well, all things considered. We left having done
what we came to do. Jisak's death was the only black mark. In
Starfleet terms it wasn't a big mark. To me, and to Ny, it was.
We'd known him so long; he was part of who we were. You learn to
live with loss, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
Memories of Arkana always come with mixed feelings for me. I lost a
friend, but I gained something else. I didn't know if Spock would
become a permanent feature in my life, but I knew I couldn't wait to
see him again. I just had to wait and see what fate or destiny or
whatever threw at me. I could take it. With Spock at my side I
think I could take almost anything.